Predator-free by 2050 – I like it a lot. Most eN-Zedders probably agree that mice are sneaky and dirty, rats are evil and dirty, and stoats and ferrets are just plain nasty. And dirty, of course. And you mustn’t touch them because they probably have a disease, which is what most Mums tell their curious kids and quite right too.
But we have to put cats on the list. I know, most eN-Zedders probably think cats are cutesy and purry and lovely, albeit with stinky, fishy breath. There’s a reason cats sleep all day and unlike a few politicians we all know, it’s not due to laziness or excessive drinking and partying.
I like cats. I do. They’re not needy. They’re friendly-ish, They don’t need to be walked. They don’t bite like pit-bulls and dobermans. Anyone with IG knows how kittens are nauseatingly cute, especially when there’s a ball of wool involved. Older cats are benignly arrogant, but like decorative cushions and scented candles, they make a house a little less boxy and a little more homey, you know. But grown-up cats are just as evil as mice, rats, stoats and ferrets. Those lovely, docile, benign cats sleep most of the day because at night they’re out killing. If only they killed mice, rats, stoats and ferrets, but no, they’re killing our native birds, which are much easier for fat, lazy cats to sink their teeth into.
I like cats, but I like eN-Zed’s native birds more.
Kereru will happily become your friend if you put some over-ripe fruit on a picnic table or a window ledge. It seems they like fat juicy blackberries even more than I do. And a kereru is a thing of utter beauty. Feed it regularly and it’ll happily eat from a bowl right next to you, looking at you from time to time and mumbling away in kereru-gibberish.
If you have flies or mosquitoes in your house, the piwakawaka is a way better solution than a can of spray. Open your windows and doors and they’ll be happy to help. Korimako (the bellbird) and the tui… I had these in the trees outside my kitchen when I lived on Paku (Tairua, Coromandel Peninsula) and they’re even more beautiful than fatso kereru. If you want your car destroyed (and who doesn’t from time t time), your local gang of keas will be happy to help out. I heard kiwi calls in the night while living on Paku because there’s a predator-free reserve there. And how odd is that that very few eN-Zedders can say they’ve heard a kiwi, never mind seen one? No cats means plenty of native birds.
My only concern about Predator Free 2050 is the quiet knowledge that while mice, rats, stoats, ferrets and cats are evil predators, humans are way worse and greenish government might one day decide to extend the definition of predator to include eN-Zedders. Yikes.
But what do you think? Fat cats or fat kereru? And bellbirds and fantails and tui and kea? And takahe? And kiwi? Imagine having a kiwi living in your garden. (Imagine having a moa in your back yard?) How much more madly, truly, deeply eN-Zed is that than having a fat, useless, fish-breathy politician, oops, I mean cat in your house?
eN-Zed 