Oops, I meant to write ‘Bill of Rights’, you know, the fundamental rights of all eN-Zedders as detailed in eN-Zed’s Bill of Rights Act, 1990. If you’re an en-Zedder you have the right to freedom of expression and the right not to be tortured and the right not have medical treatment and a few other rights.
“Everyone [eN-Zedders, I mean] has the right to freedom of expression, including the freedom to seek, receive, and impart information and opinions of any kind in any form.” This means we can have and express our opinions about gender identity politics, pies, the All Blacks, mutton chops (ik), electric vehicles and the way Maths is taught in schools these days even though ‘back in my day’, and vegans, and the Green Party’s obsession with a wealth tax and Ikea and plastic waste and immigration and even vaccinations and young people’s haircuts and… pretty much everything.
We eN-Zedders all have the freedom to refuse medical treatment so if you don’t want to take yukky cod liver oil or spinach-because-it’s-good-for-you, or if you really don’t want to go to the dental nurse, you’re allowed to say ‘no’. And ‘no’ can be a complete sentence – it doesn’t have to have ‘because’ after it.
And we all have the “right not to be subjected to torture or to cruel, degrading, or disproportionately severe treatment or punishment”. So this means if you don’t have to listen to what taxi drivers think about the Labour Government, you don’t have to read articles in Stuff by their sports ‘journalists’ and, once again, you don’t have to eat spinach or mutton chops or Cadburys Barely Milk all of which, in my opinion, are cruel, degrading and disproportionately severe. And no one’s allowed to have freshly-made lolly cake in their fridge and refuse to share it with you because that’s also torture. Obviously.
The Bill of Rights gives all eN-Zedders rights, but membership of the human race gives us all responsibilities – in my opinion. Plato, Aristotle and Socrates each said that we all have a responsibility to be law-abiding citizens. No fake documents with your immigration application, no exceeding the speed limit, no lying to get government benefits, no suggesting that the ABs may not bring the WW-E Cup back with them, and no ram-raids in stolen cars. No drugs, no under-age drinking, no hooning about in gangs being threatening to other eN-Zedders…
Because we don’t get rights without also having responsibilities.
eN-Zed 